pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
