What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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