i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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