why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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