I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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