Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Two words: blizzard sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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