You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
