Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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