just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize