I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
my god I love twenty year old dicks
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
