One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
