i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
