she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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