I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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