I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
