Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
