when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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