I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
