They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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