She's JV to your varsity
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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