I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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