True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had to cum in my sink.
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