Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Life is so much better after having sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
