I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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