yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
