Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
