he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
