I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
