so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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