im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
