this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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