What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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