Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
