i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Green mimosas i think yes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
