I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
