Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
