Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
