the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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