did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
