drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
