whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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