Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize