is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
