I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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