dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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