And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
