school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
