this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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