ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
