My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
