this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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