Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
