trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
