I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
