i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
