problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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