i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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